5 Tips for a healthy sexual relationship

Here some key tips I think are essential for great sex with your partner.

1 Accept your partner

You have to be really happy with your partner and like everything about him or her. There are maybe some faults in your partner that may annoy you. Sometimes they are not as bad as they might seem, look at the positive outcome. If it is really a no-go than talk about it smoothly and try to change it. Thus change what you cannot accept about your partner and accept what you cannot change, by looking for a positive outcome in his or her behaviour.

2 Create a great basis

To receive something from your partner you first have to give. Thake him/her out on a date, spend good times together, every moment spent in happiness will make your relationship stronger. In bad times, the good times we be recalled and indirectly measured out. Think of good and bad moments as a balance, so put some weight into the good memories. You simply might take him/her out on a romantic dinner, concert or theatre but you can also be a bit more creative by organising a city trip, moonlight picnic or you could make her jump naked in your best friends pool at night when he’s on holiday. Yes the last example needs some creativity and organisation: start off with making friends that own a pool.

download

3 Compliment your partner. Every day, yes every day!

To make someone feel comfortable with themselves, you need to make them compliments, a lot of compliments, tons of compliments. It makes people happy and keeps them going. In order that this tip does not backfire you have to really mean it. It can be small things, even negative characteristics can be turned into nice compliments. For example: my wife walks like a duck, she would make a bad Victoria secret model on stage, but I tell her that she has the cutest walk I have ever seen, and I mean it by heart. She’s even cuter when running!

4 Cut to the point

Now that your partner is really happy, confident and loves you, while taking him or her out and drinking champagne or wine, talk about sex. Ask him or her if they have had any phantasies or sexual dreams. Ask if there ever was a sexual phantasy your partner wanted to experience, even before you met. Give your partner the feeling that you would like to know and try it out, even if it gets weird, in order to make him or her happy. Normally something should come up, there is always something one wants to try and is too shy to name it. If not, slowly increase the amount of alcohol and dig deeper. Here is the point where I should mention: Drink with responsibility and try not to act like the guys from CSI. Try to be yourself, honest and calm. If you are shocked or have any weird feelings, take a few breaths and try to be rational.

5 Take your time

Repeat steps 1 to 5 as much as possible, and always try to have a great and positive outcome of your conversation about sex. As you implement new ideas: role plays, threesomes or sex in public, always try it with moderation as long as it is good and a positive experience for both! Having a great sexual relationship needs time, so prepare yourself to iterate over this process multiple times. Hopefully someday you can leave the champagne aside.

About

I want to talk about relationships, monogamy and sexual fantasies in daily couples lives. My intent is to write about ideas and tips for couples to have an erotic escape from routine and invest in their sexual relationships.

Photo by Azrul Aziz
Photo by Azrul Aziz

With whom else would you have the sex you want if not so with your partner? If you want a healthy relationship in an overly oversexed and emancipated world, one has to talk about sex.

How our society works at the moment.

All the popular magazines one read have tips for you on the topic of relationships. The two tips I read over and over again is that you should communicate with each other and try new things. While this statement is completely true, they do not do further investigations and do not tell you how you should communicate and what new things you could do. They may tell you to leave the light on during sex, and while you are bored you scroll over to the next page just to find a hot model, might it be shirtless Chris Hemsworth or bikini model Kate Upton, you conclude that no one has tips for you on how to invest in your relationship and that it is easier to dream on with one of the hot models. This leads to a society where more and more people cheat on each other.

You know how media, advertisement, movies tell us how a perfect relationship should look like. These stereotypes cannot live up to the diversity of people, their sexual orientations and fantasies. For example: 30 years ago, would you image a gay character in a movie? Thanks to revolutionists like the LGBT scene (Lesbian, Gay, Bisexual and Transgender) this picture has changed a lot and different sexual orientations are now accepted, this was not always the case.

Over the last decades the classic couples got stuck as it was perceived as normal, and normal does not need a revolution. Well it does.

The world changes, women and men are more emancipated, financial independent and media, the internet and television floods us with sexual impulses. Being single for a lifetime and divorces become more and more common. It appeals to be easier to not engage yourself, focusing on careers or leaving your partner for another one than investing in an existing relationship. The relationship content of erotic, sex and emotions is still suffering of religious views and shame and they are one of the most important topics of a relationship. This leads to the image that a classic relationship and marriage are odd.

A modern world, needs modern couples. Yes you have to confront yourself with embarrassing thoughts and maybe think unconventionally. You have to say out loud what’s on your mind. The truth is we do not think 100% monogamous all the time, and we want diversity in the bed. This can be a bit odd at first to talk about it with your partner but it will be very liberating and exciting later as you get to a point where you can agree on talking more openly.

Open up your relationship

On the other side off an honest, trustworthy and open relationship, sexual adventures await you how society never has seen them. No book or movie, yes even not Fifty Shades of Grey, come close to what I have seen. Do this step by step and take your time. The most important thing is that you invest in discussions, long talks and small surprises to build up a deep relationship.

Instead of giving up relationships, living in sexual frustration, cheating, breaking hearts, invest first fully in your relationship. This is what I stand for here, and I would like to share my experience, so that you can join the revolution.

Think of eescape as a Woody Allen movie, it’s just great to have this diversity next to the Hollywood blockbusters that are either a comedy romance (we all know how it starts and ends), action shooting movie (the good guy shoots the bad guy at the end) or a vampire movie (why do we have just a handful fictive creatures?).

The agency.