The Loft – Secret sexparties

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Photo by Abigail Keenan

Imagine a loft where men wear suites and the ladies elegant black dresses. There is champagne, drinks and a massive wooden table in the middle of the room accompaigned with a warm buffet. This place exists, and it is one of the most beautiful places with a magical atmosphere that makes people do beautiful things they cannot imagine the first time they come here. The lights are set low, candles lights are burning, jazz music is playing very softly and the temperature rises up to 27 degrees in the loft. The ceilings are 3 meters high and from above are hanging big chandeliers.

Loft - secret sexparties
Photo by Lizelle De Wit

At 10.pm the hosts announces to the around 80 selected guests that the ladies have to take off their black dresses, leaving them in sexy lingerie, topless or even completely naked with only suspenders and high heels. It is completely up to them to decide what they will wear under their black dress. As the atmosphere heats up you will see more and more couples and people getting intimate with each other..

It feels great touching your partner in front of other people the way you would only do it at home in your four walls. It feels also great watching other people, how they do it, to learn from them. In some corners and rooms you can even only stand their and watch orgies unfold.

It is like you were always playing piano at home just for yourself, and suddenly you are in a band.

The aftermath of such secret sexparties, leaves you with a good feeling. Senses were awakened, you have seen plenty of beautiful naked skin and it will give you a smile from time to time, when you sitting in your office the following Monday.

This particular party was held in Frankfurt, Germany. I am sure it is not the only one.

The Agency

5 Tips for a healthy sexual relationship

Here some key tips I think are essential for great sex with your partner.

1 Accept your partner

You have to be really happy with your partner and like everything about him or her. There are maybe some faults in your partner that may annoy you. Sometimes they are not as bad as they might seem, look at the positive outcome. If it is really a no-go than talk about it smoothly and try to change it. Thus change what you cannot accept about your partner and accept what you cannot change, by looking for a positive outcome in his or her behaviour.

2 Create a great basis

To receive something from your partner you first have to give. Thake him/her out on a date, spend good times together, every moment spent in happiness will make your relationship stronger. In bad times, the good times we be recalled and indirectly measured out. Think of good and bad moments as a balance, so put some weight into the good memories. You simply might take him/her out on a romantic dinner, concert or theatre but you can also be a bit more creative by organising a city trip, moonlight picnic or you could make her jump naked in your best friends pool at night when he’s on holiday. Yes the last example needs some creativity and organisation: start off with making friends that own a pool.

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3 Compliment your partner. Every day, yes every day!

To make someone feel comfortable with themselves, you need to make them compliments, a lot of compliments, tons of compliments. It makes people happy and keeps them going. In order that this tip does not backfire you have to really mean it. It can be small things, even negative characteristics can be turned into nice compliments. For example: my wife walks like a duck, she would make a bad Victoria secret model on stage, but I tell her that she has the cutest walk I have ever seen, and I mean it by heart. She’s even cuter when running!

4 Cut to the point

Now that your partner is really happy, confident and loves you, while taking him or her out and drinking champagne or wine, talk about sex. Ask him or her if they have had any phantasies or sexual dreams. Ask if there ever was a sexual phantasy your partner wanted to experience, even before you met. Give your partner the feeling that you would like to know and try it out, even if it gets weird, in order to make him or her happy. Normally something should come up, there is always something one wants to try and is too shy to name it. If not, slowly increase the amount of alcohol and dig deeper. Here is the point where I should mention: Drink with responsibility and try not to act like the guys from CSI. Try to be yourself, honest and calm. If you are shocked or have any weird feelings, take a few breaths and try to be rational.

5 Take your time

Repeat steps 1 to 5 as much as possible, and always try to have a great and positive outcome of your conversation about sex. As you implement new ideas: role plays, threesomes or sex in public, always try it with moderation as long as it is good and a positive experience for both! Having a great sexual relationship needs time, so prepare yourself to iterate over this process multiple times. Hopefully someday you can leave the champagne aside.